Tidbits of Advice: Labor

This is obviously unique for each person, but here is some quick advice I picked up in the oh, six-ish hours I knew I was in labor.

*Try to come as hydrated as possible. They would not let me have anything to eat or drink. I don't know about eating... I don't think you'd want a full tummy... and... uh... from Jenny McCarthy's book... you could potentially poop while delivering. Obviously unintentional and completely normal, still.... wouldn't want to be in that position.

*Try to have a birth plan in mind. Of course mine went completely out the window in a matter of minutes, but still good to have a few expectations.
*Who do you want with you? (I found that less is more during the actual delivery, but next time I think I'd feel comfortable having my Mom... if it's a "normal" pregnancy...)
*What "activities" would you like to do to help labor progress? (Sit on a yoga ball, go for a walk, etc. were a few of my choices that didn't happen since they wouldn't let me move once I had the magnesium.)
*Drugs. (Let's not revist my desire for an epidural, -k-?) But do know what you want and don't be afraid to let people know. : )
*How can your labor coach (my hubby JJ) help you? JJ was amazing at just figuring out what I needed basically. When I felt a contraction, he was right by my side showing me how to breathe and calming me down. I absolutely needed reasurrance at every step and he was so encouraging. I think it's good to let your husband know how you think he can help you and also let him know that it may change during delivery.

*When they hooked me up to the monitor, I was so glad to see when contractions were happening. I obviously felt them (once I knew that's what they were!), but I loved the little graph going up... and coming down... going up... and coming down... It was soothing to count through them. And of course, BREATHE!

*One of the doctors told me that when I felt like pushing, I would "bear down". No one told me, ok, time to push now (for the first one), it just felt right. And you honestly do push like you're going #2. Pushing was wonderful. It was active. I could DO something with these contractions. To start a "push", I waited for a contraction, breathed in a lot, and then held it like I was going underwater. Filling up my cheeks seemed to help. I was clueless about this step for a while. For some reason it was NOT connecting how to hold my breath. The doctors will guide you about how often they want you to push.

*Then, the head will kind of pop through -- JJ said he saw MVJ's head of hair pretty quickly after I started pushing, but it didn't actually come all the way out for a few more pushes. Once the head comes through, don't forget to keep pushing! I forgot this step. There are still shoulders and whatnot to get through!! But, after the head, the doctor will basically pull the baby out. And ta-da! You've done it! It really is true what they say, you forget about the pain.

*Then, don't think you're 100% out of the woods. Now you have to push out the placenta. There was nothing to this step, but it did feel kind of awkward. The baby's out. And you still have to push out this thing that resembles a bloody jellyfish. Niiiice.

*Lastly, you may need some stitches. At least you've got a baby to focus on to forget about whatever else they're doing to you. : )

She looks like MVJ!

The big debate is on. Who does MVJ look like?? There are varied opinions on the subject. Personally, I think she is a carbon copy of JJ when he was a baby. I can just see so much J in her. She has a darker tint to her skin, like cousins LJ and BJ. She has hair - and lots of it - and it seems like it's staying (even if it's lightening up)! (My brother and I were completely bald.) And of course, I would be remiss if I didn't talk about the J forehead. Cousin KC, who from pictures seemed to suffer a bit from hydrocephaly (there's a picture of her blocking out the sun with her head...), seemed concerned for poor MVJ that she would have a big forehead as well. Right now I think it's middle of the road -- not too big or small.

JJ says her eyes are mine. My Grandma maintains she looks just like me. RJ, JJ's mom, who saw MVJ in person for the first time Friday night, is just positive she looks like me. Many friends and family have said she looks like JJ. I think my family sees both JJ and I. Who knows? For one thing, she's just 7 weeks (today!) and a lot can change! For another, I'm sure she'll have traits from both of us. I just can't wait to see what the future holds for little miss MVJ.

On weather and such

I've been meaning to post for some time, so this might be a long, drawn-out post! Sorry!

Sometimes I feel just out of the loop as a temporary SAHM. It seemed like all of a sudden there was flood talk, which I guess wasn't SO all of a sudden since we just kept getting snow and rain this winter. But anyways, the first people affected were my parents, which was quite a shock. My Mom called to say it was bad in my hometown, but it looked like they would be ok. Then she called back later to say they were doing evacuations. I came to find out that I strongly dislike that word. It just sounds so scary. For some reason it just puts me in a wartime feeling. THEN she called back later to say that they were sandbagging, moving stuff from the bottom two floors in our house up and going to my grandparents' (who live in a higher part of the city). It was surreal hearing that kind of news but not being able to help. My family does tend to err on the side of worry, but I knew there was nothing I could do from here besides pray for people in my hometown. In the age of facebook, I was able to know right away who was affected and who wasn't by status updates and picture downloads.

JJ and I had a quick conversation about where we'd go and what we'd do if need be. It was good to just have a plan. I quickly put things into perspective -- what was really important was that everybody stayed safe. Things are just things. (Hmmm... maybe I should do some house cleaning with that attitude in mind right now!!) So anyways, my parents were able to return to business as usual as ice jams were blasted north of town. Next we focused our attention to our neighbors to the south, where BIL/SIL AJ and LJ live. The town has had major work filling sandbags, putting them up and maintaining them. When I think of other natural disasters, there are times when people make bad choices (like the looting in New Orleans). It just makes me so glad to live where I do where people come together and help eachother out in yucky times. There have been so many volunteers and so many agencies that have come together for a common goal of keeping everyone out of harm's way. From babysitting so others can sandbag (LJ), to providing meals for workers, to round the clock neighborhood watches to catch leaks in the dikes, it has been quite a team effort. JJ's university even closed Thursday at 3pm so students could help in the southern town, but also where we live. It will reopen Tuesday. Friends were going to help sandbag but were turned away there are so many volunteers. So, I guess I'll just enjoy a few extra days home with my hubby!

I have been getting a kick out of watching the town meetings held every morning since Tuesday I think. I've never met the guy and I KNOW stress does things to people, but JUST from those news conferences on TV, the mayor of that southern town drives me nuts! He seems like a total dink. Anyway, just personal thoughts there. On the Saturday conference, there was finally some good news. Even though people are still wary and are waiting until it's "over" to breathe a sigh of relief, there were some jokes cracked (i.e. about the emergency response team vs. the "slow" response team and who was in charge of the "slow" one) and spirits seemed definitely lifted. I'm waiting to watch this morning's news to get the latest. I've also enjoyed this website for info.

I have had some things to contemplate with this weather. Why do we live here? What's most important? I think it just comes back to the people of this area. It's not the yucky or great things that happen here, but how we deal with them that really matters.

Ok, enough philosophying! : ) JJ's off to work, Baby M is back to sleep and I think I'm headed there too before bathtime for MVJ and Church... maybe the 11:30 service today...

Tidbits of Advice: What NOT to buy!

So again -- please add ideas!! I'm a newbie! : )

Since my baby girl was due in March, I hit up some rummage sales last summer -- before we knew what people would send us as gifts and before we knew we were having a baby girl. I bought things that seemed useful, but I've found that some things were not needed, even if they were only $0.05!

Here's my list of what NOT to buy!

*BIBS. Last count I honestly have over 50. Some came with outfits, some as gifts on their own, and some I bought at rummage sales. My girl is a spitter at times, so it has been helpful to not be worried about her spitting up and grabbing a new one... but I did NOT need to buy any! : )

*BLANKETS. We have gotten many as gifts -- and many of them have been handmade making them super special. As Auntie LJ noted - we must really have enough if we're using some to level our carseat base...

*RECEIVING BLANKETS. I don't know how, but we've accumulated a ton. We mostly use them as extra burp rags because we have great things with the express purpose of swaddling, so we don't use the receiving blankets for that.

*PACIFIERS. We've gotten some as gifts and Miss MVJ doesn't seem to enjoy them much... yet anyways.

*BOTTLES. (We're breastfeeding...) We just felt like we would need a ton, and it seems like she'll be using a bottle like once or twice a day at the peak. Again, this is just my speculation... maybe I'll find them superuseful later... ??

*TINY BATH FOR LITTLE BABIES/NASAL ASPIRATOR/THERMOMETER/TEENY TINY HATS. Our hospital gave us all of these things.

*CRIB BUMPER. I didn't realize there was a "controversy" over these things. I guess babies can roll into them and suffocate! : ( But, then I've also heard if you don't have one, baby can get his/her arms stuck in the crib rails. So, I guess you can choose. We'll probably take ours down once MVJ gets more mobile.

Lots of excitement!

JJ, M and I have been BUSY lately! She has been a trooper with getting packed up and heading out! It was JJ's spring break, so on Wednesday we headed to visit LJ, AJ and family. We love visiting the AJ family! Hanging out with niecey LJ and nephew BJ, eating yummy food (including all out deserts Wednesday night!), playing games (a new one this time -- Ticket to Ride -- highly recommend it -- and not just because I *almost* won the second time we played!), and this time even attending their Bible study with them!

Friday morning, we had to get up early because of a play date I scheduled at the mall play place. M and I played with the B's and also LB (a friend from work) and her two kiddos -- RB and MB. The kiddos did a great job running around playing. Little MB (about 8 1/2 mo.) will be up chasing her brother in no time! We crashed at home in the afternoon and then M and I went to a baby shower for AB-E and baby RE, who is about 3 weeks older than MVJ. We had an impromptu photo shoot with MVJ and RE. They are so dang cute and about as different as can be. RE has beautiful light reddish hair and MVJ is just so dark. Then we headed home to clean up a bit and unpack from the J's.

Saturday, M and I headed to Perkins for a little baby shower for the O's (MO and PO are adding another boy to their family of MO and FO). CJ was so kind to set it up and it was fun to go eat with just "the girls" (we allowed baby boy J in CJ's tummy to join us). I hadn't seen AO in quite some time! Then, we went home and SM, a friend from work, came over with her sister LM and daugher H to bring MVJ a gift and hang out! Little H is so cute! JJ got home from work and it was all over -- she had a huge crush on him! heehee!

Sunday JJ had to work at 6 am. Yeck! MVJ and I headed to Church at 10, where little miss M decided to be awakies the whole time! She was busy, busy, busy in my lap. After Church, a few ladies came up and commented on how BEAUTIFUL this little girl is! Friend MM, who signs during Church, came and promised to get together after Easter.

Then, back home again, home again. Phew! I think a relaxing Monday will be JUST FINE! : )

Just some things overheard...

Today...
Niece LJ yelling to Uncle JJ: "NO I do NOT want a wedgie! What's a wedgie??!"

Last week...
I put MVJ down on Daddy JJ's chest while I ran to the bathroom before feeding her. From the bathroom I hear JJ: "No! Wha?! Hey! EJ, you NEED to come feed this baby!"

Babysitting the B's

Yesterday, the B's had an ultrasound (BB is H-U-G-E, poor thing, and the doc wanted to see if she should go early because she's already had two relatively large babes and she is a tiny lady). Since it's Spring Break, TB could go with, so I babysat JB and EB. Mommy and Daddy got them ready and fed them breakfast, so my only job was to play! It was fun! The only downside was I had no voice! On Friday I started getting a bit raspy and it has just gotten worse since then. I don't have any cold symptoms and feel just fine... I just can't talk. It's annoying! And what did the kiddos want to do? Read books. Of course! I basically whispered through them (like If You Give a Pig a Pancake... FOUR times) ; ), which worked because the kiddos were quiet trying to listen.

MVJ hung out with us too. I put her in their baby papasan, but she cried, so I put her on the couch, but the kiddos were a little too interested for me to just leave her there. It seemed that all I was saying to EB was "No." One time he chanted, "No, no, no." While I was in the middle of one of the books, MVJ peed through a diaper! All of a sudden my leg was wet! It was the first time THAT has happened! Poor MVJ, it seems that all I talk about are her pees and poops! But, anyways, I got up to change her and the B's are all interested. JB and EB come into the room with the changing table and JB has every question in the book for me. What's that? What are you doing? And even, "Does she have a vagina or a penis?" I said, "Well, she's a little girl." Without skipping a beat: "Oh, vagina then. Are you using butt cream?" (EB has had a major diaper rash and butt cream is essential at their house at the moment!) "Is her butt all clean?" You know, she is more experienced than I am with this whole diapering thing, so maybe I should be asking her the questions! ; )

Tidbits of Advice -- Pre-Delivery

I'm not a "seasoned veteran" by any means, so if anyone has advice to share, please do!! I have quite a few friends who are having first babies and are looking for advice of all kinds! Know, too, that if things don't go as planned, you'll be just fine! At the hospital, people were so helpful and provided me with things I hadn't brought with me (a toothbrush for instance!).

Pre-Delivery
*My biggest advice here is to plan ahead! You NEVER know when that baby's going to show up! Poor JJ didn't have a lot to go on when I sent him home for "stuff" while I was at the hospital. Even a list would be helpful if you're in a hurry.

*Slippers are nice to have -- they wouldn't let me walk around without nonskid socks/slippers/shoes. Don't forget nursing pads and bras (if you're breastfeeding), and of course stuff for your period (no tampons allowed). You'll want comfy clothes and don't forget shower stuff!

*Have the car seat installed! (And DON'T get rid of the receipt... you never know if your peanut will fit in the car seat you choose!)

*If you can, attend a birthing class(es). At least read the part in What to Expect When You're Expecting... I was dumb and only read up to where I was at... it was like a ritual -- oh, I'm in my 7th month, now I'll read about it. It would've been nice to have a sneak peek beforehand.

*It was helpful to have our baby showers early, so we could go buy the things we didn't receive but knew we needed. As it happened, we shopped/set up the weekend before we had our baby girl! Also, I washed the smallest outfits and bedding so those things were all set up and ready to go!

*I only bought one newborn outfit before the hospital because I heard about babies who didn't fit in newborn and went straight to 0-3 months clothes. Our chica happened to fit preemie outfits and has yet to grow out of her newborn outfits. I guess you just never know!

*Do what you can to organize at home. Friends of mine cooked things to freeze ahead of time.

*People advised us to spend quality time together because time with just the two of you will not happen very often from now on!

One-handed Wonder

One thing I didn't realize would change after having a child is my ambidexterity. I have done so many things one handed, and not always with my dominant (right) hand... Who knew that I actually can brush my teeth with my left hand if I have to?? What about that one-handed ponytail? Or the banana bread made mostly only using one hand? Miss M is really a good baby... she just really enjoys being held... and her parents really enjoy holding her!! We've realized that the "training" we're doing is on ourselves right now. We don't necessarily have to teach her to sleep on her own, for example, we just have to put her in her bed as opposed to carrying her sleeping lump around.

Identity Crisis?

When I was growing up, I was often referred to as "W's sister", especially at hockey rinks and such. At family reunions it would be "MW's granddaughter" or "EK/WK's daughter" or "FK's granddaughter", etc. Later, in the J family, I became "JJ's wife". Or when we moved to WC, I was "B and C's daughter-in-law". Now, I have quickly jumped into the role of "MVJ's Mom".

I do have another identity these days: Suzie Homemaker! I have been cooking up a storm and loving it. I'm not the best chef by any means, but I've enjoyed trying some old favorites and some new ones. I grocery shop every Tuesday, so I plan out my meals for the week and make sure we have the ingredients we need. If I were an accomplished cook like JJ, I would know how to substitute or plan meals around what we already have. Consequently, so far I have ensured the jobs of many workers at our local grocery store! Every week I'm trying to do better and can gauge better how many leftover meals we will have. I've also been quite the baker. I baked banana bread, corn bread (with blueberries), toffee oatmeal cookies, peanut butter with kisses cookies, etc! And people ate them!

It's her world... I'm just living in it!

When I think about myself or my life right now, I absolutely can't separate myself from my daughter. It seems like I don't have a life outside of her. This is not a negative in my opinion! I am so blessed to have this little thing that is absolutely dependent on her father and me. Her new thing the last couple of nights is to be WIDE awake at about 10 pm at night. Ready for action. Not in any way ready for sleep! Her bassinet is right next to our bed, so we know when she's ready for sleep and when she's not! Living in an apartment, we are probably much quicker to respond than we would be if we lived in our own space. (SIL LJ had a good idea -- we could bring treats and earplugs to our neighbors!) Last night MVJ just wailed and wailed for quite a while (it seemed like FOREVER, but really all out wailing probably only lasted about 20 minutes). She's just such a good natured baby generally that it caught us off guard. At times I even find myself scolding her and then have to remind myself that she's four weeks old... maybe I should cut her some slack! When do babies get into a routine? When do Mommies lose the blur from not getting a full eight hours of sleep in one whole shot? I'm just so glad that I have quite a bit of time off from work because I don't NEED to accomplish anything right night besides caring for my lovebugs.

Milestones!

Saturday was MVJ's due date! It was funny finding things that were planned for that day. For example, on our calendar I had written "Baby J's due date -- will she come today??". Even at work, my Mom had a appointment pop up on Friday -- "EJ's due date is tomorrow!" We're so thankful that our baby girl came healthfully when she did and that we've gotten to know her that much longer! I don't know what I'll do our next pregnancy if it goes the WHOLE NINE (ten) months! ; )

So today is a major milestone -- Miss MVJ's one month birthday! We celebrated in style with a bath and pictures with the giant carebear! Check out the pics on facebook -- seriously -- I can see such a change already! What a sweet thing!

Today is also a major milestone for another famous chica -- Barbie turns 50 today! Oh Barbie! I had my share of Barbies growing up. I'm pretty sure I even had a pink car. Come on Barbie let's go party.

Slowly back to "real life"

Every single day it seems we have new "firsts". First time meeting friends and family members. First time sleeping five hours straight! First time pooping while being changed because of sneeze. First time going out to eat. The memories are endless! This weekend we had two separate eating out experiences. Friday we hit up Applebees with BILs BJ and CPJ, friends the C's (NC, LC and IC) and friends the E's (JE and RE). Little MVJ did a great job just hangin' out in her carseat. Mommy got to eat her whole meal, and then at the end CRIES, CRIES, CRIES. Oh man. I always kind of panic because I'm so scared to have to breastfeed in public (I do have hooter hiders, and DO look for the nearest bathroom, but still) .

So, we hit up the bathroom. While changing miss MVJ, she AGAIN peed on her outfit (GOSH, you'd think I'd learn the tricks for preventing this!!). I quickly tried to clean up our changing pad and picked her up (bare bottom). She POOPED on me! That little stinker (well... good thing her poo doesn't stink... yet!). So then to the rescue came LC with IC in tow. They helped by holding MVJ (I know, I really had to twist LC's arm ; ) ) so I could clean up the rest of the mess. Then I attempted to breastfeed MVJ. It is just not as easy standing up folks. Let me tell you. Plus by this time I really needed to use the restroom. It is really awkward being in a restroom stall but not being able to use it!!

Sunday we tried again! I know... we are glutons for punishment right? We went to Perkins with BJ, CPJ and the C's after hanging out at the C's house (MVJ even got to meet their ginormous, but sweet doggie VC). MVJ did an awesome job! She slept or just squeaked the whole time. Phew! We can do this!

Schedule Changes...

I'm learning that things don't happen on my timeline anymore. Like, for example, we had company this weekend (woohoo!!). JJ's bros CPJ and BJ came up yesterday and sis LC and nieces MH and KC came up this afternoon. I swear I will be up all night because MVJ has been so content just sleeping away while auntie, cousins and uncles played pass the baby. So anyways, my to-do list for the week, among other things, included general cleaning and organizing, meal planning, meal cooking, dishes, etc. You know, the norm for guests. This would normally take an afternoon, right? Especially in our little apartment. But now, oh no! NOW we go by miss MVJ's schedule. Which means I have only small chunks of TWO handed time. Just to finish everything up I was glad the uncles were here so I could do the dishses and put the finishing touches on lunch.

We miss Grandma!

My parents (EK and WGK) and brother (WJK) were able to come up for MVJ's first hours of life and were with us until Wednesday. It was so great that they could share in that special time! I needed support, too. There's just something about having family around! When my Mom got home, she went right to work, then worked a full day Thursday, went in early Friday, and left early to come back to be with us! She was able to spend a full week with us and it was such a blessing. I can't explain what having her with us meant to us. Without being asked, she just jumped right in to help us with cooking (mmm... crescent roll caserole anyone??!), cleaning, caring for MVJ, etc. She allowed for some much needed rest time as JJ threw himself right back into school and work (and later at the end of the week paid for it with a nasty bug). My Mom helped us give MVJ her first bath at home, babysat while we ran our first errands (lansinoh cream, witch hazel pads, baby powder, oh my!) and went to Church together.

She also helped with some projects I had been meaning to do! For example, I made this rather large wall hanging (first quilting project evah!) and the corners were turning up -- she quickly remedied it with a few new loops to go around the dowel rod. Also, I enlisted JJ and my Mom to put up the wall stickies I had bought to spruce up the baby room since we couldn't exactly put a fresh coat of paint on (oh the joys of living in an on-campus apartment... but that's another whole post!). She blessed us with a ton of groceries, and baby supplies, oh and a superduper gift for MVJ --- a car starter for our van! Yay! I love my family and could never thank them enough for all the great support and love they've given us -- especially with this new little addition to the family tree!

Lots of Firsts!

This weekend marked a lot of firsts for both MVJ and us! Here are some highlights:

*First time to my work! She just ate up the attention and got to meet lots of my wonderful coworkers! DJ, the other 7th grade specialist, helped by supplying the hand sanitizer!! His newborn is right around double MVJ's size, so it was fun for him to hold such a little peanut! MVJ of course had to have a diaper change while there and promptly peed all over herself and me! I'm learning, I'm learning, but in this case the new diaper disappeared! It was so weird! MVJ also became starving so I also got to use one of my "hooter hiders" out in public for the first time! My mom made me two and they are fabulous! MVJ seems to love the "privacy" (I'm thinkin' it's the warm, dark space!).

*First road trip! MVJ slept almost the whole way! AND we didn't forget anything! Woohoo! It was a great first road trip because if we had forgotten anything, BIL AJ and SIL LJ would've most likely had it! MVJ got to meet her cousins, LJ and BJ, who loved her up! LJ had a teeny-tiny bit of jealousy... but all in all did well considering she's used to having Uncle J and Auntie E all to herself... or only sharing with brother B. BJ was so sweet with MVJ. He kept bringing her toys and saying "Hi baby!" "Hi baby!" While BJ would bring her toys, LJ would take them away whining "She wasn't playing with them anyways!"

*First trip to Target! MVJ promptly pooped her pants. SIL LJ said something like, "I know, M, Target is pretty amazing to me too." So along with first trip to Target comes first time chaning in a public restroom! Oh joy! Good thing our diaper bag came with a great changing pad! Mommy just had to practice her juggling moves and speed as MVJ bawled her way through the change.

*First photoshoot! Friend TN (tummy shot at the link is SIL LJ with daugher LJ!) surprised us with a fabulous baby gift -- a newborn photoshoot!! Woohoo!! TN made things so easy and even MADE props/outfits for miss MVJ - even up to the night before! I canNOT wait to go through the photos... TN only took about 225 photos of our sweet baby girl!! : ) We're going to make our announcements through TN, so you'll just have to wait to catch a glimpse of some of our favorites! It melted my heart to see the ones with JJ and MVJ. So sweet!

*First time meeting friends RE and JE! RE made a rocking chair for MVJ! It is so special! I'm so impressed with the craftmanship. RE did a fantastic job! JE and RE's mom (SE) made us a diaper cake with all sorts of fabulous things in the cake! We love the E's!

*First time attending Church! Her first weekend "alive", MVJ stayed home with Grandma EK. Her second weekend, JJ was sick and Mommy was too nervous to take MVJ out by myself! SO, this was the weekend! We changed "spots" in Church to the family section! It was a big deal! MVJ slept through the whole thing! Pastor P and JJ joked that she wasn't the only one snoozing... ; )